A Merry Christmas to All

Just got home after a trip out of town, and would just like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a happy and peaceful New Year!

See you in 2009!

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Women’s Pubic Hair Determines Personality?

According to “pubic hair researcher” Kosai Jumon you can tell a woman’s suitability as a spouse from the shape of her bush.
Jumon’s recently released book “Tamashi Yura Ageman (Rising Fortunes of the Soul)” categorizes womens’ pubic hair , which he calls “The Zone” into five types, each of which purportedly determines its owner’s sexual proclivities.
In an interview with reporter Asahi Geinoin in the recently defunct tabloid Mainichi WaiWai, Jumon explains “Women’s pubic hair is normally shaped like an inverted triangle, but some is oblong or elliptic-shaped.”
Apparently, a husband needs to keep a close eye on his wife if she has “elongated “pubic hair.
“It’s not rare for women with elongated pubic hair to be the types who fall in love at first site and soon become passionate. They’re not the types who’re happy shut up in the home. They may cause those around them to worry about them a little. But that devilish side to them is what makes them so attractive to men.”
But it’s not just the frisky types with elongated pubic hairstyles that need watching. Those with a “mountain delta” shaped bush, where the pattern of the mop “resembles the mouth of a river”, are said to be capable of “hyper-infidelity.”
Something for a husband to watch out for then–if he knew what “elongated” pubes or pubes resembling the mouth of a river looked like. Neither sound very complimentary to me and I think that if someone told me my nether regions resembled the mouth of a river I’d poke ‘em in the eye.
Naturally enough, Jumon’s highest praise is for the Japanese bush.
Jumon claims the average Japanese woman’s pubic hair is a standard-type, which is an inverted triangle where the base extends for 9 centimeters and it runs the same length from top to bottom, with the mean length of hairs being 7.5 centimeters.
“It shows endurance and indicates suitability for married life. They have everything they need for enduring such home-like activities as childbirth, child-raising and caring for their husband or parents. I don’t think it’s saying too much to say that it is these standard-type women who helped raise Japan to glory.”
“A perfect wife has a clearly defined endurance sub-zone and slight traits of a receptivity sub-zone. Put simply, this means she doesn’t care a great deal about things like ethics or morals. A woman with pubic hair like this would be able to bear a lot, but also have a sexual side that allowed for unbridled wantonness. In short, hair like this would indicate a good wife during the day who turns into a whore at night.”
Hmmm…how charming.
Quite how Jumon managed to get funded for such spurious research is beyond me, but let’s hope nobody buys his book. And in the meantime ladies, if you see a Japanese man on a nudist beach making notes about your crotch, explain to him that every woman resents being patronised – whatever the shape of her thatch.

Nude Beach causes tempers to rise!

So German nudists are upset by Polish peepers, who are outraged about German nudists!

And all because a fence separating the German and Polish sides of a Baltic beach has been removed to allow freedom of access to both communities.

And I thought nudism broke down barriers and brought people together!

The Naked Lunch. Nude Dining in New York.

Nude dining in New York

The Naked Lunch. Nude dining in New York

According to a new article in Metro magazine, Nude Dining is the hottest New York Craze

If the thought of undressing for dinner turns you on; why not? Personally, given the choice between dining on lobster thermidor in a swish restaurant with my kit off, or grazing at McDonalds fully clothed, I’ll take the Big Mac and fries every time – and I don’t like hamburgers!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against eating whilst naked. As a life-long nudist I’ve lunched in the buff at resorts and beaches from Palm Springs to Perth and thought nothing of it. But, on those occasions I was already naked, at a nudist venue, and it was altogether natural and appropriate, given the setting.

It is, of course a purely personal point of view, but dining out in an uptown restaurant is more than going for a meal – for me it’s an event. It means dressing to the nines, with my make up just so and an expensive slinky dress that makes me feel like a million dollars. It’s about elegance, and luxury. It’s about ambience

To arrive and dump my clothes into a plastic bag just wouldn’t do it for me.

Ah well, each to his own. At least the waiting staff remain clothed. It’s something to do with hygiene regulations, which is just as well because restaurant tables are about the same height as a man’s groin and I’ve attended enough nude barbeques to guess that the sight of a naked waiter’s – how shall I say this ­- equipment, dangling centimetres above the dish of the day would put you right off your food.

Anyway, I wish ‘em well. They obviously gain a lot of pleasure from their pastime – as well as a slap-up feed – and the restaurant gains revenue and some free publicity, so I suppose everyone wins. I personally still fail to see the point, but I’m prepared to be educated. If you think you can enlighten me I’d be more than happy to hear from you, and, just in case, I like my steak medium rare.

Flesh Dance? No Thanks!

Flesh Dance.

Starkers NightclubI’ve just turned down an invitation to this Friday’s naked party at Starkers nightclub.

I’ll say that again. I can’t believe it either.

I, a confirmed nudist who will normally lose my clothes quicker than a stripper on speed, have just turned down a night out at London’s only nude disco. My hosts were paying for everything too, dammit.

Am I getting that old?

Actually I don’t think it’s to do with age.

For me it’s about ambience.

Dancing in the buff on a warm summers’ evening on an exotic beach is just perfect. Having a Big Night Out in a city centre disco where everyone else is naked doesn’t hold the same attraction.

It’s true that that my disco-dancing nights are long gone now, but I don’t think the idea would have appealed to me even back when I was a 18 year old disco diva.

I suppose it would have stopped my mum complaining-as she always did, bless her-that my skirt was WAY too short

But wherever would I have kept my lipstick and make-up?

Strutting your Fluff!

Strutting your Fluff – a very pubic matter.

I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but pubic hair – especially female pubic hair – is big news these days. No longer a private part of one’s anatomy, the pubes have become part of the fashion ensemble of the great, the good and the glitterati. It is openly discussed in a way that would have been unthinkable even five years ago. It is expensively styled, used as a fashion, advertising and political statement, and is the centre of a growing, million dollar industry.

As a nudist gal, I’d never given it much thought. It was something we all had, to a greater or lesser degree, and which, like the rest of one’s body, needed to be kept clean, sleek and well groomed.

I was of course aware that some of my friends and acquaintances on the nudist circuit favoured the “smooth” look, whilst others opted for what we used to call “The Clarkie”, after the slim, trimmed moustache sported by Clark Gable. We even have one friend who chooses to dye hers various colours, one month black, another blonde, the next auburn, and so on.

But whilst I’m used to having hair ripped from along my bikini line for those occasions when I’m unable to use a nudist beach, the thought of grooming and styling my pubic hair into a fashion accessory just never occurred to me.

hpcover_new1.gifWhich apparently makes me hopelessly unfashionable. Because according to “Hot Pink – The Girl’s Guide to Primping, Passion and Pubic Fashion”, these days it’s chic to strut your fluff.

Apparently the latest pubic fashion is the “Beckham”, from Japan, where young women trim and style their pubic hair after the hairstyle worn by David Beckham, soccer superstar turned A list celeb. Just in case you’re not familiar with this sporting icon, Beckham used to tease his blonde locks into a sort of crest over the top of his head, like a fish’s dorsal fin. Although he has changed his look many times since, the dorsal fin style is the pubic cut of choice in Japan. I don’t think I’ll try this one personally. The crest can only be kept in place by copious amounts of hair gel, which is very sticky. and the thought of pulling out most of my pubes every time I take off my undies does not appeal.

Last year’s craze was the ‘Brazilian’, because the ladies of Copacabana Beach like to wear such miniscule thongs that they remove all of their pubic hair except a small rectangle. This is the style apparently endorsed by celebrities such as Gwynneth Paltrow, Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, singer Jennifer Lopez and ex Spice Girl Victoria Beckham amongst others, although I wonder whether Victoria now sports a “Beckham” in support of husband David. The poor girl certainly looks in pain.

It is a little ironic that the growth of the pubic hair (no pun intended) cult should have been driven by non – nudists. In a textile environment, the opportunities for showing off your tuft, no matter how artistically decorated, have to be very limited.

In the nudist world, on the other hand, we are up against no such limitations. Given that opportunities for most normal fashion accessories disappear with our clothes, maybe this could become the next BIG THING in the nudist world . Perhaps we can look forward to seeing fancy shapes, rainbow colours, glitter or stick-on tattoos enlivening our nudist camps and resorts. Move over body painting, lets have an annual “Ms Strut Your Fluff” competition with the first prize of a thousand pound pubic makeover. Just remember that you heard it hear first.

As for me? Well, having waited so long for the damn fluff to arrive in the first place, I can’t bring myself to go totally smooth. But maybe I could try a little something fancy for my nudist club’s Valentines Day party. Perhaps a little heart shaped number?

Now, where’s my Body Bare Shaver and cream?

Happy New Year, but take care where you go bare!

Danger. Take care where you go bare!

danger. weird nudist laws

 

Oh dear, the old head’s still hurting a bit as a result of accidentally quaffing large amounts of alcohol during a fairly riotous New Year’s Eve celebration in Gloucestershire.

Not that it was my fault of course; I blame my hosts. I mean, put a weak and naive young lady such as myself, who has led a hitherto sheltered and blameless life, in front of a bar which stretched into the next county, and what can you expect?

Therefore they must shoulder the entire blame for the incident later that night when I received a caution from the local bobby for riding my host’s bicycle round the village green at three AM dressed only in boots, knickers (with snazzy Christmas tree motif) and a Santa Claus hat.

My recollection of that night is a little hazy, but I remember that the officer was perfectly charming, although my hosts suffered agonies the next day expecting a knock on the door from the local police force.

Serve ’em right for leading me to the demon drink I say.

Not that they weren’t right to be worried mind you. According to British law, I- who committed the deed – would not have been prosecuted unless a member of the public had complained, but they – who had done nothing – could be prosecuted on the spot for keeping a “disorderly house”

Which is a bit strange if you ask me, but then the law is an ass sometimes, especially in connection with nudity. Just take a look at these examples, which I’ve reproduced courtesy of Scott Roeben, at http://www.dribbleglass.com. (Incidentally, this is a fascinating site for whiling away a few hours. Check it out.)

For instance, did you know that…

  • Female breasts,” according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don’t constitute “private parts” under state law.
  • In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may be naked only while in the bathroom.
  • In Oxford, Ohio, it’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.
  • Women can sell items and be topless in Liverpool, England-but only in tropical fish stores.
  • Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they’re nude.
  • In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can’t go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job-for men only-called a corset inspector.)
  • However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because “the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.”
  • Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
  • Women aren’t allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio, as a man might see the reflection of something he ought not!
  • In Hastings, Nebraska, the owner of every hotel is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No male and female-even if they are married-may sleep together in the nude.
  • Censorship laws in Brazil are strict. Photos of women attired in bikinis or short-shorts are banned. And no more than one bare female breast may legally be shown on any given page of a newspaper, magazine, book, or other publication.
  • Don’t try to fool around while skinny-dipping anywhere near Georgetown, Guyana. Getting caught while bathing in the nude is punishable with a coat of fresh paint! The bathers are then taken to the outskirts of Georgetown and left to fend for themselves.
  • Cautin Province in Chile has an edict banning the hanging on the walls of Playboy centerfolds and other sexy pinups in any home or public building. The reason ? “It’s more worthwhile to admire a good landscape than a photograph of a naked woman.”
  • In Syria, a man is forbidden to “look at the body of a woman who is not his wife under any circumstances. It is also forbidden for a woman to look at the body of a man who is not her husband. It is forbidden to look at the genitals of others, even in the mirror or in a pool’s reflection.”
  • Egypt has legislation that prohibits a woman from belly dancing unless her navel is covered with gauze. Technically, then, according to this law, a female in Egypt may dance in public while wearing absolutely nothing more than a piece of gauze on her belly button.
  • The law in Doha, Qatar, requires that if a naked Muslim woman is surprised by a man while bathing or dressing, she must first cover her face, not her body.
  • Bikini car washes (where women wash cars topless) are prohibited in most US states, but the fine is only $50 per incident, so car washes charge an extra $50 to recoup their legal costs.
  • Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street.
  • In Winnipeg, it is against the law to go naked in your own home if you leave the blinds up.
  • In Carrizozo New Mexico, females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public – including legs and face.
  • And last but not least, in Thailand it is illegal to leave your house without wearing underwear…

By the way. I personally have not checked the validity or otherwise of any of these laws, so I accept no responsibility if they’re incorrect or out of date.

What I mean is, for instance, if you own a tropical fish shop in Liverpool and decide to serve your customers topless on the basis of what you’ve just read, that’s up to you.
But if you get arrested don’t go blaming me- I’m in enough trouble down in Gloucestershire.

Have a great nudist new year!